Is Normal a skewed perception?

My profession as a therapist puts me in the path of many a different child. Many are with issues and some, with not so many issues. Each child is different. Sometimes it worries me to put a label on a child depending on the checklists or questionnaires provided as standard. Because often, the new normal or the “new gen” as we call it now, is very different from the “old gen”. Our perception of normal is very much skewed today and we are often very ready to label children according to our whims and fancies.

Let me elaborate.

Recently I attended my friends house warming ceremony, as usual with lots of kids running about. As I was conversing with one of my acquaintances, her 7-year-old daughter, jumps into our conversation excitedly talking something and then turns to leave. As she leaves, she executes two perfect somersaults in the midst of the crowd, jumps around a few times yelling like a pirate and then runs to friends and thumps one on the back hard. All the parents approve, Wow! She is brilliant, very active child! See, how she is enjoying herself. Perfectly normal!

On another day, I was driving my cousin and her children home. Her elder 8-year-old daughter is sitting quietly. Her 5-year-old daughter is creating a ruckus in the car while sitting in the front seat. She is talking in Peppa pig accent ,saying she wants to go to the backseat, then she is singing songs like Marsha and then proceeds to read every bill board on the way like another cartoon character. Her mother informs me, that’s her “normal” way of speaking. She is very smart and picks up accents really fast, but does not make friends easily due to the odd accents. I just nod.

And finally, I was with a mother and her 5-year-old daughter at a birthday party. She was telling me how her daughter was recently diagnosed as having Autism spectrum disorder. Her daughter preferred to sit quietly in a corner, hum songs to herself, occasionally maintains eye contact and but overall preferred to be by herself, interacts in one word for her needs, basically not troubling anyone. That’s not normal!

Three instances, different viewpoints of normal and not normal. Thinking about these three children, I thought, who would I classify as normal? What is normal and is my perception of normal skewed depending on the society rules and expectations? Friends of mine tell me that I don’t talk much, preferring to be by myself most of the times and my social skills is hardly up to par. So, in retrospection AM I NORMAL?

These days as awareness of diseases and disorders increase, rules for social etiquette are stringent. We, as parents often rush to doctors or therapists, if our children are not up to par with their peers. The competition is high and we often forget to let our kids be “kids”.

We are so very ready to label them as normal, not normal, un normal and disnormal! With the COVID war ongoing many children are cooped up in houses with no outlets for play and frolic. They often let their imaginations run wild and start acting out characters. Some children tend to withdraw into themselves. This could turn out to the normal in a few years. For the time being let’s not stick them with labels or diagnosis, instead let’s gift them with our time, love and laughter.